Yes, the book of James goes deep. If you want to test your faith and attempt to unravel some pretty thick theological knots…study the book of James. If you want to remember the feeling of conviction when you first realized you were nothing without Jesus…study the book of James. If you truly want to turn your anguish into joy…study the book of James. If you feel like your life is a wreck, your youngest child just got diagnosed with autism for which the doctors have no explanation as to the why or how and they certainly can’t tell you the what and when of his prognosis…yeah go ahead and crack open the book of James.
[Jam 2:14-16 ESV] 14 What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?
We still hadn’t found our home church yet, so I was doing a Bible study at a nearby church at a Monday night ladies group. I needed to find a connection. Purpose for our move, our new baby, Micah’s diagnosis. So many unanswered questions. Yeah…I was doing a study on the book of James right in the thick of it all. God knew I needed this. I needed a Word from Him.
I just had my 20 week ultrasound with Eli, so at this point we knew he had a 2-vessel umbilical cord, and later found out his heart and kidneys had “markers” for Trisomy 21 and he had IUGR. I was so freaked out thinking he was going to be born with no hands or something. I was in pregnancy “worry mode” that did nothing good for my insulin levels or my poor husband.
[Jam 1:2-4 ESV] 2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Little did I know, God was doing a work in my heart on many levels.
I didn’t need a perfect family, perfect house, perfect life…I had Jesus. I had all I needed. I begged God to heal Micah and instead he healed my heart. He healed Eli in my womb and when he was born in June of 2012, his heart was healthy, his kidneys…no longer were swollen…and his CH? Well, I could easily say…God didn’t heal him so I’m all mad now. Nope, not even close.
What He did was He used Eli’s CH diagnosis for His glory to help us figure things out for Micah. Now look where that has led us? So many doors are being opened for Micah and I have been able to talk to people…shewt, doctors!! who have specific knowledge about Micah’s condition and who are willing to help me so I can help him be the best he can be.
Today, I heard the most encouraging word and I wanted to share it with you geniuses…a woman and a man whom I have never met before told me that the ministry God has purposed me for is going to be different and not like all the others. Hmmm.. They told me to stop comparing myself to others who have similar purposes. Hmmm. That isn’t everything they said…but I thought it was interesting after the past weekend and the way I have been feeling about being very different and not “fitting in.”